Random Things I Should've Known but Ultimately had to Learn on My Own (part 1)

Winter guidelines:

• If you're not sure how to open it, Don't close it.
• While the fresh fallen snow looks really pretty and fluffy, it's not so nice when you're locked out of the house. . . . barefoot.
• It's true . . . Your tongue WILL stick to it.
• Ice is slippery
• Butts do break
• Pretty winter boots are not necessarily warm boots or safe boots
• Running through deep snow causes deep muscle pain and deep breathing
• Lungs do freeze

Household guidelines:

• The clothes dryer is not really as fun as it looks
• While playing hide and seek, the best hiding spot is not the freezer (even if no one will find you there)
• The dishwasher does not load itself
• While owning a vacuum cleaner is a good thing, using it is a better thing.
• You can't do ALL the laundry in HOT water
• Separating colors and whites is highly recommended
• Pink clothes are only good if they were pink when you bought them
• If it didn't come from your body, don't flush it.
• If there's water in your light fixture, check the upstairs bathroom
• When the power goes out . . . the microwave does not work
• Nor does the garage door opener
• Nor does the cordless phone (even if you are trying to order pizza)
• Kids really do say the darnedest things
• Don't threaten your school aged children with severe bodily injury (even if it is in jest)
• Teachers don't have the best sense of humor
• Nor does the Department of Family Services
• Boy children do not like pink clothes