Friday, November 23, 2012

Today - Automatic Garage Door

Today, I'm going to go out in the garage, lay on the floor and close the garage door on my strategically placed boob.

Okay, Not really.  But Thats what it's going to feel like I'm sure.

Mammogram and ultra sound . . . this morning.  We'll see how it goes.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Life . . . Nobody get's out alive . .

Life . . . Nobody get's out alive . .

No, I'm not a pessimist.  Them's just the facts.

John had some things come up in his world that took priority (in his mind) over getting further testing done.  He's supposed to get a fasting glucose test, an ultra sound and Hepatitis test.  He doesn't have to have a set appointment for that I guess, and he will probably be getting it done some time tomorrow or Monday.  It's a wait and see game I guess.  But according to him he's changed his diet significantly and has not had another low blood sugar type episode again . . . EXCEPT for last night.   He's also pretty proud to tell me that he's lost 4 lbs! Which is fantastic.

Me . . . still waiting. I've discovered that I HATE taking showers . . .
"Why?" you may ask.  Well for 2 reasons

1.  Cuz with each shower I am losing a handful of hair, and it's making me crazy.  I try to brush through it very carefully, but it just keeps coming out.  ARGH!  I am attributing it to a fairly common condition that affects people 2 - 4 Months after a major stress in their lives.  With Destany dying in June & Tony dying in July . . . I guess it is inevitable.  But still . . . ARGH!

2.  The shower is where I would do a self breast exam, and the only thing that is changing is the hard lump is harder and more easily detected.  I'm guessing about 3-4 CM or "grape sized". 

I await confirmation from the state of MN that they are working on my MNCare application so that I can go to the doctor and get this THING taken care of . . .

So while I wait . . . I google.  I went through a few days of the strange sensation over and over again of the feeling that a nursing mother gets when her "Milk let's down".  Now it only happens once in a while.  Breasts are tender (hormones??) I believe I'm post menopausal . . . so I don't know about hormones.  I read somewhere in my google search that "breast cancer doesn't hurt", then read in another place "Yes it does, just depends on who you talk to".   The good news is . . . I see NO correlation between Hair Loss & Breast Cancer :-) Till you add in Chemotherapy.  (Maybe God's just getting me used to the idea." ????)

I should just UN-google for a while.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

52 and Hormonal???

It's been a LONG time since I've written anything new.  But I'm feeling the need for some sort of outlet.

The year has been tough on our family.  I got pretty sick and diagnosed with Hashimoto's.  But thyroid meds seem to be helping quite a bit.  I really have not had too much of an issue since mid summer.

However, the loss of a precious granddaughter (just short of 7 years old), a good friend, and a cousin in the past 5 months really took it's toll on our family.  Sometimes life is just hard to understand.

I quit smoking at the end of January, but started again in June. 

That's a quick catch up . . . now on to the real subject of this post.

Well, I took an 6 day break from this post between the above paragragh and this sentence. " Life interuptace" once again I believe.  This post was going to be the start of a "diary" of sorts.  To list out the symptoms of my latest health worry, and to chronicle the journey from start to finish.  I was going to use it as an outlet for my underlying fear.  Over the past 2 months or more, I've had this MOSTLY secret worry about a possible health scare.  I've called different people and had ordinary conversations with them, and wanted to tell them my worry, but it always worked out that during our ordinary conversations, they had extra ordinary things that they were dealing with and the timing never was right. 

I did, one night at a friends place get the opportunity (during a cigerette break in the garage) to speak with someone who had personal experience in the subject which had me worried.  It did feel good to verbalize the worry, and to listen to her recounting of her experience.  Although, it didn't calm my inner voice down any.  Since that time, I have shared with a couple more people, but . . . I haven't "taken care" of the issue . . . yet.

Then, last week.  I got a call from my 23 year old son's girlfriend, who told me that after a doctors apt and some horrible lab results, it is feared that my son Johnny may have an "Insulin Tumor."  (her words, not mine) Instantly I went into "research" mode . . . and I'm pretty sure that they are suspecting an "insulin PRODUCING tumor", or INSULINOMA.  Which would more than likely be in the pancreas.  He also has an inflamed liver.  He's scheduled to go back to the Doc tomorrow so that they can do some more testing, including an ultrasound.  I intend to be there so that I can get the straight skinny right from the docs mouth, and ask questions and to make sure everything is being done, or checked.  I trust NO ONE completely with the health of my family. (grown or not). 

So, once again . . . ordinary lives having extra ordinary issues. Not good timing for my quiet and mostly secret worries.  First things first.