Studying for My Stress Test

As the self proclaimed "female Bret Favre of the co-ed softball world", it is difficult to publicly admit that because of a few recent scary health "events", I have been scheduled to take a stress test tomorrow. 

Health background:  I smoke, I drink, I work hard and I play harder . . . nuff said on that.

The instructions given to me when this test was scheduled include a segment that is titled  "How to Prepare". (the actual instructions are recorded below in black. My comments are in RED)

• Wear Comfortable, casual clothes Duh! and good walking shoes. Do you suppose it would be okay to be barefoot?
• On the Morning of the test, you may eat a light breakfast if you wish, but no later than one hour before the test. My breakfast usually includes 2 cups of coffee, cigarettes and a side order of email & facebook
• Please refrain from alcohol, No problem, coffee Ooops! and cigarettes Now come on! for at least 2 hours before the test. So, What you're saying is NO breakfast!   Seriously, If we're going through all the trouble of a stress test, wouldn't it be more productive if we made it as realistic as possible????  I mean, I can't think of a two hour span in which I am not smoking or drinking coffee or both prior to 3:00 in the afternoon.  I'm already getting stressed just thinking about it!  Isn't the whole point of a stress test to see how my ticker reacts when pushed? . . . If it's going to react negatively, it'll do it a whole lot quicker if I just do my normal routine prior to, and right up to the point where I'm walking into the hospital.  It'll save a whole lot of time if we do it MY way. Just sayin.

I've always had a little test anxiety, and this one is no different.  Especially since the LAST stress test I had (about 7 years ago) I ended up in the emergency room.  (I wonder who was more stressed?  Me or the technician who administered the test?)

For now . . . I'm planning on being back on the streets within one hour of the test . . . hopefully it's not in an ambulance ;-)